sickdayNot long after the nanny dropped off the boy at school, I got a call from the school’s nurse telling me that the boy had vomited in his classroom and I needed to take him home. That was 9:30 AM this morning.

The boy has been feeling a bit under the weather for the past week or so with Strep Throat, but I think the antibiotics have mostly quashed that bug. Last night, though, the boy complained of an upset stomach, then he woke up in the middle of the night to vomit in the bathroom. He seemed to be back to normal when he was getting ready for school this morning, but it’s hard to tell with him because he tends to be pretty tight lipped about how he’s feeling and stuff.

I dunno, I felt like the boy was stalling when he was walking out the door this morning cuz tomorrow is the first day of winter break, but I guess he has another bug or something. Hopefully it’s just a 24 hour thing.

When I was a kid, my sisters and I could be projectile vomiting and have blood shooting out of our eyes and ears, and our parents would say, “Just put a Kleenex on it,” and they’d send us to school. I don’t think I missed more than three days of elementary school when I was a kid, and my parents only let me call out from school because of Serious Injury and/or Life-Threatening Illness.

I’m desperately trying not to be like my parents when it comes to letting my son have a stay-at-home sick day (especially when he’s really sick, obvs), but a small part of me wants to say to him, When I was your age, I had to get 15 stitches on my leg or a broken arm just to get a half day off from school, sheesh.

Sometimes it’s hard to undo a lifetime of nurture, even when I know better now.

valentine's-dayThe boy’s school winter break (which starts tomorrow) happens to coincide with Valentine’s Day this year,  so I thought we were in the clear for having to provide Valentine’s Day crap for the boy’s classmates. Turns out the boy’s class is having its classroom VD party today, which means we had to scramble this morning to pull together cards and stuff for the boy’s teachers and classmates. Luckily, I bought an adorbz  set of Star Wars-themed VD cards a while back, so the boy won’t be the only kid in class who doesn’t participate in the treacle.

I guess I’m as romantical as the next dude, which is to say probably not much, thus I have mixed feelings about inculcating my son into a practice as schmaltzy and commerce-driven as Valentine’s Day. Call me a curmudgeon, but I think we should be careful with our love. Real love isn’t something that we should toss around as if it comes in unlimited supply. I’m not talking about like or whatevs, which is fine to share in abundance, but real, true love is precious and we should limit the love we share with only those we actually love.

I’m probably projecting a bit. I’m glad that my son has a seemingly unlimited supply of love, but I don’t want him to give out his love so easily to peeps who don’t return it. TBH, some of the boy’s classmates just aren’t love-worthy cuz they are mini-douchebags. And yet, there we were this morning, writing out love letters to a bunch of jerks.

angrypanduhdadI’ve been in a lousy mood because of reasons and I feel like I’ve been (unfairly) taking it out on my co-workers and my family. I’m usually a pretty happy-go-lucky guy, so when I’m not, it tends to freak people out. As a recovering rage-aholic, I have to work hard to keep my always-simmering-beneath-the-surface rage in check. Over the years, I’ve developed a pretty thick skin and it takes quite a bit to get my goat. But when I’ve been pushed over the edge, it takes a while for me to settle down and get back to normal again.

Despite my pessimistic opinion of most peeps, I’m still always surprised when peeps are assholes. It’s weird because even though I expect the worst from peeps, when I see and experience their worst, I’m all, Dude, what’s up with that?

Usually I give my kid a pretty long leash when it comes to accepting his bad-ish behavior, but he’s been on a bit of a tear lately. I blame second grade and being seven-years-old for his new-found uncooperative attitude. I need to remind myself that my kid is still a kid and not expect him to behave like a fully grown, fully formed person. My main gripe with my son these days is his attitude, which flip-flops between obnoxious non-compliance to just plain obnoxious.

Tonight’s argument with the boy’s involved his resistance to practicing violin and then the boy “accidentally” spilling an entire glass of water on the living room rug. I know what a drag it is to be “forced” to practice an instrument cuz I’ve been there, too, but, you know, that’s the breaks and you gotta do shizz you don’t wanna do sometimes when you’re a kid. As for the water spillage, I was less perturbed about the accident and more angry about the fact that the boy tried to cover it up. Everyone knows that the cover up is often worse than the crime.

Since the boy rarely sees my angry side, I’m pretty sure that he has learned his lesson that he shouldn’t try to get one over me, especially when I’m already in a lousy mood. I might seem like a cuddly panduh dad, but panduh dads are pretty scary when we’re mad and stuff.

legosupercycleAfter dinner and homework, busy daddy went to yoga, so the boy and I started building the awesome LEGO Super Cycle Chase set that we got over the weekend. While we were working on the set, the boy said, “Dad, I was playing Pixel Gun online with my friend and a girl we didn’t know asked if she could play with us.” And I said, That’s nice. And the boy said, “But when she got killed, she told us that she was going to call the police because we killed her.” And I said, Isn’t shooting your opponent the point of the game? And the boy said, “Yeah, but the girl kinda freaked out and said we shouldn’t kill her, but then she would’ve just killed us.”

And I said, Well, sometimes people have terrible lives and they make up rules that don’t apply to them, but they expect everyone else to abide by their stupid rules. And the boy said, “What should I do?” And I said, Just don’t play with that stupid girl. And the boy said, “But she keeps interrupting our game.” And I said, Ask her nicely to leave you alone. And the boy said, “I did, but she wouldn’t stop.” And I said, Then all bets are off and you should destroy her because she is clearly an attention-seeking moron who doesn’t have any friends, and someone needs to put her in her place before she does the same thing to someone else.

And the boy said, “Are we still talking about the same thing?” And I said, Probably not.

homework

I dunno, since I’ve had Strep Throat, I’ve been kinda sorta spacey lately. I think the antibiotics that I’m on are punching holes in my brain and I’m forgetting to do and/or keep track of shizz that I’m supposed to do and/or keep track of. Apparently the boy was supposed to do a shizzton of homework over the weekend, and I didn’t realize that stuff was due today until three minutes before the boy was gonna walk out the door with his nanny and go to school.

The boy had a reading assignment and a book report on snakes. Do you know how long it takes a seven-year-old to do a second grade reading assignment and a book report on snakes? Three minutes. Cuz as soon as we realized that shizz had to get done, the boy went to werk. My son might be a genius. I’m just sayin’.

Tonight’s homework assignments included online math and another reading assignment that involved creating words with plastic letters. It was awight.

Somewhere between the LEGO store and the mall parking lot, I apparently lost my glasses. I only noticed cuz when we got into the car, I was checking my phone to see what the weather was gonna be later this afternoon and I realized that I couldn’t see what was going on.

If anyone happened to be trolling the mall (you know, the one with the LEGO store?) and found an errant pair of brown Warby Parker “Wilkie” frames this afternoon, lemme know? I dunno, they were cheap, so whatevs.

I figured that it would probably be useful to be able to read and/or see shizz at work this week, so the boy and I went back to the local eyeglass emporium at the mall so that I could pick up a pair of quik-e glasses. I’ll tell you what, when they said my glasses would be ready in an hour or so, they weren’t kidding!

As a bonus, the boy got his hurr did while we were waiting for my glasses to be finished. Turns out those eyeglass jockeys are pretty good a cutting hair, too. Who knew?

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I’m pretty sure that the mall is one of the Saddest Places on Earth. It’s actually surprisingly empty today, which is mostly what makes the place so sad. There are a hundred stores here and nothin’ to buy.

Apparently the most popular stores at the mall are the LEGO store and Hot Topic. The new LEGO Movie sets are pretty awesome, so we picked up a few. Meanwhile, they ran out of the black mesh leggings that I had my eye on at Hot Topic, so I bought a studded black faux-leather mini-skirt instead. It’s awight.

The boy said, “Shopping at the mall sux. We should just shop online.” I couldn’t disagree with him.

EDIT: I realize that some humorless, self-righteous trolls might take what I say literally. Cuz trolls are stoopid. I didn’t buy a studded black faux-leather mini-skirt at Hot Topic. It’s real leather, obvs.

Our lunch at the Factory consisted of their World Famous plain bowtie pasta with butter and Parmesan cheese for the boy, and a Mexican-ish egg scramble with carnitas and a spicy green chili sauce for me. It was pretty good!

We’re on the hunt for a birthday present for the boy’s friend Eli, whose birthday party is next weekend. I guess that means we’ll have to pay a visit to the LEGO store, which is killing the both of us. And by killing the both of us, I mean we’ll probably end up buying a birthday present for Eli and buy a bunch of other things for ourselves.

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On the way to our usual Saturday pho lunch, I was complaining to busy daddy that it seems like all of the so-called fancy business meals that I have with executives are at Italian joints. I guess I like Italian eats as much as the next guy, which is to say, I’m not a big fan of Americanized Italian eats.

Busy daddy was all, “Yeah, Italian eats are kinda sorta boring. Hey, maybe we should have pizza instead of pho today!” And the boy was all, “Um, no. I can’t.” The boy’s vote was overruled, so we uncharacteristically had Italian eats for our Saturday lunch at a local tavern. It was actually really good! The boy admitted that he enjoyed his meal, even though he said he would have preferred pho instead.