Monthly Archives: February 2014

sleddingI dunno what it is about boys, but they seem to be impervious to cold weather. If my kid complains about anything, 9 times out of 10, he’s probably complaining about being too hot. Even in the dead of winter. Like, it could be 30 degrees Fahrenheit, and he’ll say that he’s too hot to wear a coat outside. I’m sympathetic to my son’s feels, really, I am.

As a boy, I would rather be freezing cold than even slightly warm. I never understood peeps who were always cold cuz to me the world was always running about 10 degrees too hot for my liking. But then something weird happened when I turned 35. Suddenly, hot weather didn’t bother me so much, and just as suddenly, even the slightest breeze would make me, goddess forbid, cold. I suppose it’s a function of aging, but nowadays, I am more often cold (even when it’s technically kinda sorta hot) than I am not.

When I took the boy sledding, his chief complaint was being too hot. It was 26 degrees Fahrenheit. So while I was freezing in my overcoat, hat, and gloves, I practically had to force the boy to wear his outerwear. I told the boy that one day when he’s my age, he’ll probably realize the difference between hot and cold, but he said, “Dad, when I’m your age, there will be machines that keep the weather the same all of the time so we won’t need to worry about that.” And I said, What would be the ideal temperature for you in this climate-controlled future? And the boy said, “I dunno, maybe 40 degrees?”

I told the boy that we’d reconvene this conversation in 30 years.

 

 

snowdayThe weather forecast calls for another few inches of snow later this afternoon, which sounds like a joy. And by joy, I mean, we already have at least two feet of snow accumulated in our front and back yards, so what’s an additional two or three inches gonna do, amirite? I dunno about you, but I’m done with winter, officially. I know peeps always complain about cold weather during the winter as if it’s a surprise, but I’m pretty sure this winter will go down in the annals of bad weather as one of the worst. Couple the bad weather with the excessive amounts of travel I’ve had to do for work lately and it’s basically a recipe for a really ticked off lazy dad.

Meanwhile, busy daddy and the boy can’t seem to get enough of the snow. They decided to burrow a few snow tunnels in our front yard because of course they did. Just watching them play outside in the snow made me tired, sheesh.

movienight

It’s been awhile since I’ve actually been at home on a Friday night, so it was nice to have an honest-to-goodness Friday movie night with busy daddy and the boy. Actually, we saw a matinée of the LEGO Movie cuz I’m still feeling like kaka-doodie and I’m planning to be in bed by 8:00 PM, so whatevs. I guess our entire town also decided to see the matinée of the LEGO Movie cuz the theater was a cluster fudge of peeps and we ended up getting terrible seats in the very front row.

But no matter. The LEGO Movie was fantastic and highly recommended! For the past week, the boy has been singing this kinda sorta insipid song, but it turns out that the song is supposed to be insipid. And totes catchy. It’s like an ear worm that burrows into your brain once you hear it. I’m actually singing that shizz right now!

falafel

Since we’ve been holed up at home for the past few days, we decided to step out for a quik-e bite at a local Middle Eastern-slash-falafel joint. We’ve been there before, and the eats are always yum, but today we met the owner, who is super-sweet, and her welcoming attitude makes us want to go back again soon.

Busy daddy ordered a plate of falafel and a side of sweet potato fries, which I was told were deloycious, but who knows since I haven’t had much of an appetite lately. The boy said the eats were awight, but I think it’s only because he wanted hummus instead falafel. Next time.

Busy daddy and I told a story to the boy about how when we were grad students-slash-starving artists living in New York City, we used to eat $1 dollar falafel for dinner all of the time because that’s what we could afford. The boy said, “That sounds like a cheap date!” And I said, You’re telling me. Busy daddy reserved comment.

donutsEveryone at the Busy-Lazy shack seems to be a bit under the weather lately, and frankly, the piles of snow outside ain’t helping matters. I think I caught whatever stomach bug the boy had a few days ago, so I feel utterly craptastic. Like, every bone in my body hurts and the thought of eating anything makes my stomach churn. The good news is that this stomach bug is turning out to be the Best Diet Evah cuz I’ve lost, like, five pounds since yesterday! The bad news is that it’s probably just water weight and stuff. I think I might be a little bit dehydrated cuz I’m becoming a little bit loopy.

I called out sick from work for the rest of the day cuz staring at my computer screen all morning was resulting in diminishing returns. Really, there is only so much a person can stare at a website in dev mode before you want to tell everyone to STFU.

Busy daddy’s office is closed today due to the weather, so he’s been running errands and/or shoveling snow. On his way back from the gym, he called to see if I wanted some donuts or somethin’. I said, No donuts for me, but maybe the boy would like one? So busy daddy bought six.

Nothin’ says love like a half-dozen heart-shaped donuts from the local donut emporium. Too bad I can’t eat any, but the boy said they were deloycious!

glassesWhen the boy was a wee lad, he had this strange habit of blinking his eyes and scrunching up his face at random times. It was adorbz, obvs, but after awhile, busy daddy and I started to grow concerned that maybe there was something wrong with our son. But each year at the boy’s annual wellness checkup, the pediatrician would tell us not to worry. Babies often exhibit tics that they eventually outgrow, the pediatrician would tell us. Lighten up a bit, he’d say.

Sure enough, the boy’s facial scrunching and blinking subsided, and through the years he picked up other tics that came and went. There was a period between ages two and three when the boy would curl his toes under his feet and walk on his toe knuckles for shizz and giggz. Then there was a period between ages three and five when the boy would cross all of his fingers—index with middle and ring with pinkie—and walk around with clenched hands.

Generally speaking, I’m not much of a worry wart when it comes to weirdo kiddie stuff. As an older brother to many younger siblings and as an uncle to too-many nieces and nephews to count, I’ve seen my share of kiddie behavior that might seem strange at the time but never had any lasting effects.

The boy’s blinking and face scrunching resurfaced with a vengeance sometime last year, and although I didn’t think much of it at the time, when the boy had his annual wellness checkup last fall, it became clear that there actually might be something behind this tic. Turns out, the boy failed his eye exam. It wasn’t a near-miss kinda failure. It was a can’t-see-the-biggest-letter-on-the-top-of-the-eyechart failure.

Shortly before Christmas, the boy got his first pair of glasses, and suddenly the blinking and face scrunching stopped. Actually, he still occasionally does the blinking and face scrunching thing, but I think it’s probably more out of muscle memory than anything else.

The first time the boy looked at the world through his new glasses, he said that everything suddenly looked 3-D. I asked him what things looked like before getting glasses, and he said, “I dunno, not 3-D.” The boy has a kind of myopia that’s progressive, so as he gets older, his vision will likely continue to falter. It’s not terrible and he could probably get contacts or Lasik surgery if he wants when he’s older, but the boy minimally will need corrective lenses for the rest of his life.

There was a time when wearing glasses would make a kid a target for ridicule, but I think (I hope, at least) that times have changed. I don’t think the boy minds wearing glasses, although he has recently developed a habit of “forgetting” where he put his glasses and walking through the world with blurry eyes. I think the fact that the boy sees both of his fathers (and many family members) wearing glasses, so it’s really NBD. At least that’s what I hope. Plus, boys who wear glasses are adorbz, amirite?

sickdayNot long after the nanny dropped off the boy at school, I got a call from the school’s nurse telling me that the boy had vomited in his classroom and I needed to take him home. That was 9:30 AM this morning.

The boy has been feeling a bit under the weather for the past week or so with Strep Throat, but I think the antibiotics have mostly quashed that bug. Last night, though, the boy complained of an upset stomach, then he woke up in the middle of the night to vomit in the bathroom. He seemed to be back to normal when he was getting ready for school this morning, but it’s hard to tell with him because he tends to be pretty tight lipped about how he’s feeling and stuff.

I dunno, I felt like the boy was stalling when he was walking out the door this morning cuz tomorrow is the first day of winter break, but I guess he has another bug or something. Hopefully it’s just a 24 hour thing.

When I was a kid, my sisters and I could be projectile vomiting and have blood shooting out of our eyes and ears, and our parents would say, “Just put a Kleenex on it,” and they’d send us to school. I don’t think I missed more than three days of elementary school when I was a kid, and my parents only let me call out from school because of Serious Injury and/or Life-Threatening Illness.

I’m desperately trying not to be like my parents when it comes to letting my son have a stay-at-home sick day (especially when he’s really sick, obvs), but a small part of me wants to say to him, When I was your age, I had to get 15 stitches on my leg or a broken arm just to get a half day off from school, sheesh.

Sometimes it’s hard to undo a lifetime of nurture, even when I know better now.

valentine's-dayThe boy’s school winter break (which starts tomorrow) happens to coincide with Valentine’s Day this year,  so I thought we were in the clear for having to provide Valentine’s Day crap for the boy’s classmates. Turns out the boy’s class is having its classroom VD party today, which means we had to scramble this morning to pull together cards and stuff for the boy’s teachers and classmates. Luckily, I bought an adorbz  set of Star Wars-themed VD cards a while back, so the boy won’t be the only kid in class who doesn’t participate in the treacle.

I guess I’m as romantical as the next dude, which is to say probably not much, thus I have mixed feelings about inculcating my son into a practice as schmaltzy and commerce-driven as Valentine’s Day. Call me a curmudgeon, but I think we should be careful with our love. Real love isn’t something that we should toss around as if it comes in unlimited supply. I’m not talking about like or whatevs, which is fine to share in abundance, but real, true love is precious and we should limit the love we share with only those we actually love.

I’m probably projecting a bit. I’m glad that my son has a seemingly unlimited supply of love, but I don’t want him to give out his love so easily to peeps who don’t return it. TBH, some of the boy’s classmates just aren’t love-worthy cuz they are mini-douchebags. And yet, there we were this morning, writing out love letters to a bunch of jerks.

angrypanduhdadI’ve been in a lousy mood because of reasons and I feel like I’ve been (unfairly) taking it out on my co-workers and my family. I’m usually a pretty happy-go-lucky guy, so when I’m not, it tends to freak people out. As a recovering rage-aholic, I have to work hard to keep my always-simmering-beneath-the-surface rage in check. Over the years, I’ve developed a pretty thick skin and it takes quite a bit to get my goat. But when I’ve been pushed over the edge, it takes a while for me to settle down and get back to normal again.

Despite my pessimistic opinion of most peeps, I’m still always surprised when peeps are assholes. It’s weird because even though I expect the worst from peeps, when I see and experience their worst, I’m all, Dude, what’s up with that?

Usually I give my kid a pretty long leash when it comes to accepting his bad-ish behavior, but he’s been on a bit of a tear lately. I blame second grade and being seven-years-old for his new-found uncooperative attitude. I need to remind myself that my kid is still a kid and not expect him to behave like a fully grown, fully formed person. My main gripe with my son these days is his attitude, which flip-flops between obnoxious non-compliance to just plain obnoxious.

Tonight’s argument with the boy’s involved his resistance to practicing violin and then the boy “accidentally” spilling an entire glass of water on the living room rug. I know what a drag it is to be “forced” to practice an instrument cuz I’ve been there, too, but, you know, that’s the breaks and you gotta do shizz you don’t wanna do sometimes when you’re a kid. As for the water spillage, I was less perturbed about the accident and more angry about the fact that the boy tried to cover it up. Everyone knows that the cover up is often worse than the crime.

Since the boy rarely sees my angry side, I’m pretty sure that he has learned his lesson that he shouldn’t try to get one over me, especially when I’m already in a lousy mood. I might seem like a cuddly panduh dad, but panduh dads are pretty scary when we’re mad and stuff.

legosupercycleAfter dinner and homework, busy daddy went to yoga, so the boy and I started building the awesome LEGO Super Cycle Chase set that we got over the weekend. While we were working on the set, the boy said, “Dad, I was playing Pixel Gun online with my friend and a girl we didn’t know asked if she could play with us.” And I said, That’s nice. And the boy said, “But when she got killed, she told us that she was going to call the police because we killed her.” And I said, Isn’t shooting your opponent the point of the game? And the boy said, “Yeah, but the girl kinda freaked out and said we shouldn’t kill her, but then she would’ve just killed us.”

And I said, Well, sometimes people have terrible lives and they make up rules that don’t apply to them, but they expect everyone else to abide by their stupid rules. And the boy said, “What should I do?” And I said, Just don’t play with that stupid girl. And the boy said, “But she keeps interrupting our game.” And I said, Ask her nicely to leave you alone. And the boy said, “I did, but she wouldn’t stop.” And I said, Then all bets are off and you should destroy her because she is clearly an attention-seeking moron who doesn’t have any friends, and someone needs to put her in her place before she does the same thing to someone else.

And the boy said, “Are we still talking about the same thing?” And I said, Probably not.