Monthly Archives: June 2013

Shortly after the boy was born, I set up an e-mail address for him, partly to park it for him to use some time in the future, but mostly in case there was another kid named The Boy Jarkalooky-Chernin who might snatch up the primo e-mail address before the boy got a chance to use it himself. 

The boy doesn’t use this e-mail address much, save for subscriptions to YouTube channels, etc. For the boy’s e-mailing needs, we use a terrific e-mail app for kids, which I highly recommend.

While the boy and I were out and about today, I got an e-mail alert (since his e-mail is linked to mine) that there was suspicious activity on the boy’s e-mail account. Apparently somepony had tried multiple times this afternoon to log in to the boy’s e-mail account. When I got home, I checked the boy’s e-mail, and I discovered that somepony had booked a vacation to Bali using the boy’s e-mail address.

I asked the boy if he had planned a trip to Indonesia without telling me and busy daddy, and the boy was all, “I don’t even know who Indo Sheila is.” I guess the trip was scheduled for this week, and the hotel voucher was sent to the boy’s e-mail address.

I wonder if the Aussie who booked the trip using the boy’s e-mail was able to check-in to the resort? Or maybe there’s somepony who lives in Australia named The Boy Jarkalooky-Chernin? Or maybe the boy is leading a secret life that busy daddy and I don’t know anything about?

The soirée at the Designing-Business château began with wigs and wine, naturally. Those of us who don’t partake in wine (i.e., the under-21 set plus me) spent time on our laptops. There was more wine before (and during) dinner. Then we had yum vegetarian eats for dinner, which included designing daddy’s yum tofu lasagna and an eggplant parmesan that I made. Après dîner, there was karaoke for the grownups while the kids played Minecraft, natch.

Just a normal dinner party at the château.

Designing daddy and business papa are hosting a soirée at their château  with special guests mayak46 and her family, who are visiting from the better coast! The first order of business for the kids was to get on their laptops and play Minecraft, obvs. Because hanging out IRL doesn’t count unless you’re also hanging out online.

The boy is drunk from pho! I’m kidding! He’s drunk from the tequila shots we had before lunch, obvs. No, really, I’m kidding! The boy has an amazingly high tolerance for a six-year-old.*

* Don’t drink and drive, yo!

I spent the morning deep cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, but I think I might have overdone it. As I was getting dressed, I discovered a nice reminder of my overzealous use of bleach products to scrub the floors and bathroom in the form of a bleach stain on my red shirt. Nice.

Mini lazy pup haz the sadz because it’s a day that ends with “day,” so I’ve been trying to entertain him while we wait for busy daddy to get home from yoga and we can head out to grab some lunch. 

But mini lazy pup isn’t haven’t any of it. Most peeps would be delighted to be entertained by me, but mini lazy pup was all, “The world is a terrible place, what’s the point.” And I was all, But it’s a beautiful day! And mini lazy pup was all, “We’re still going to die.” And I was all, Um, OK. 

Of course, as soon as busy daddy got home, mini lazy pup was all, “Party time!!!”

I can’t win with that one, sheesh.

Busy daddy had plans tonight to go to a class with his yoga posse and then get drinks afterward, so it was just the boy and me for dinner. I asked the boy what he wanted to eat, and without missing a beat, he said, “Vietnamese, of course!” I reminded him that we have Vietnamese eats on the weekend, so he said he wanted to go to his favorite joint in town. 

It’s nice to have dinner sometimes with my kid without busy daddy because I think the boy tends to be more open to talking when he’s with just one of his dads. I suppose that when busy daddy and I are together, the boy sometimes feels like we gang up on him or he feels like he needs to entertain us or else he feels like he doesn’t have anything to say, so he clams up.

Tonight at dinner, the boy was silly and happy and unexpectedly acting like a chatterbox. After he finished his pasta, he asked if he could get some clams, so I got him a Big Bowl of Clams. The waitress said she thought the clams were for me, but I told her that the boy loves clams. The waitress was all, “I love it when I see kids ordering from the grownup menu.” And the boy was all, “You don’t have to be a grownup to like clams!” And the waitress was all, “So true!”

After dinner, we got ice cream for dessert because everyday should be an ice cream for dessert kind of day. And then we went to the Pet Emporium to buy some food for the boy’s guppies. And then we came home and I gave the boy a bath.

Years from now, I doubt that the boy will remember the mundane parts of his childhood, like having dinner with his dad or sharing a cup of birthday cake ice cream with his dad, but I know I will remember because it’s the mundane parts of being dad to my kid that are the best.

After my imaginary workout on the elliptical today, I figured I should probably get in a real workout, so after work I went to the gym and “boxed.” And by boxed, I mean I got geared up and tried to land hits on my trainer, Fake Chris, while he giggled on the inside about my lack of coordination. Whatevs.

The guy next to me on the elliptical looks just like you. Do you think he’d be weirded out if I yelled “hey gurl heyyy” at him?

Hey, guurrl, hey!!! OMFG!!! I was totes at your gym today!!! You shoulda stopped by and said hi, for realz!!!

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Maybe you didn’t recognize me because I was werking my new Lululemon jog bra, which was 12 kinds of fierce, obvs.

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But then I decided to get my fake-bake tan on, and went back on the elliptical in my normal workout gear.

Usually peeps don’t recognize me at the gym, on account of the fact that I start my workout dressed like a guurrl, and end dressed like a dude. That, or they think I’m a megalomaniacal Korean despot or something. It’s very confusing, I know. I’m sorry.

My busy day in bullets:

  • Competitive research and stuff.
  • Conference calls and stuff.
  • Very important e-mails and stuff.
  • Scheduling meetings and stuff.

I dunno about you, but I’d say that 30 40 percent of my workday involves waiting for feedback and stuff from various and sundry busy business lady colleagues. I guess the waiting is awight, but it makes it difficult to complete a single project in a day, so I end up juggling multiple, half-completed projects, like, all of the time. 

While I’m waiting for shizz, I try to stay occupied by harassing nudging my busy business lady colleagues in other offices around the worldwide network to find out what they’re working on, which yields mixed results. I guess that’s the nature of a so-called global job: when I’m parachuting into a given office and my busy business colleagues see me in person, I get lots of stuff from them, but when I’m the guy who’s pinging peeps via e-mail, text or phone, I’m just that annoying guy from the corporate office reminding them that TPS reports are due. 

Oh cripes, please don’t let me become that annoying guy from the corporate office who goes around reminding peeps about TPS reports, sheesh.

BTW, I probably spent too much time wondering what the deal was with the pic of the K-Pop dude on the ruler outside the Bossman’s office.