Monthly Archives: May 2013

Dear the boy,

I know you have Big Plans to move to San Francisco (with or without me and daddy) so that you can pursue your dream of becoming the world’s first six-year-old architect-slash-chef (an awesome career choice that I wholeheartedly endorse, BTW). But one day you may think that you need to become a busy business lady who works in technology or marketing because your dads work in technology and marketing. For the record, let me tell you this: don’t.

People will always need someone to design buildings for them and someone to cook yum eats for them. But any ding-a-ling can work in technology and marketing, and thus most so many people who work in technology and marketing are ding-a-lings.

I will accept the technology part, sure, or design, obvs, but the thought of you—my precious, brilliant, talented son—wasting your genius by working in marketing breaks my heart. Marketing is for the birds. It is where people who have no better ideas end up. It is a career path for the weak-minded and half-hearted. It is an industry populated by frequently drunk, self-congratulating, egomaniacal dimwits who think selling crap to the masses is a life calling. It’s not. Don’t go there. Trust me. I know.

Love, your lazy dad.

Sometimes the life of a globetrotting busy business lady can be so painfully glamorous, emphasis on the pain part. Like, when you get to attend swank soirées at fancy-schmancy landmark buildings with a ballroom-full of intoxicated busy business lady types, which forces a pony to hide in the men’s room for a spell to escape from all of the booze and all of the glamour. Seriously guys, it’s so freakin’ glamorous.

Wish you were here to punch me in the face.

My kid is totes unimpressed by goodnight kisses. He’s sure gonna miss them when he’s shipped to boarding school, so the joke’s on him, amirite?

The Busy-Lazy boys rang in the official unofficial start of summer by going for a quik-e swim at the gym pool in Uppityville. It was nice because the place was practically empty, on account of the fact that most of the Uppityville jerks were at the beach while us plebeians stayed local. Werk.

The best part of the afternoon was discovering that the boy is finally tall enough to go on the pool slide! Double werk.

We had a terrific long weekend, hope you did, too!

After our early quik-e lunch, the Busy-Lazy boys and cousin Sasha met up with the Designing-Business clan for a movie playdate in town. We went to see Iron Man 3. I had really low expectations, on account of the fact that I don’t think RDJ and What’s-Her-Face Paltrow have an iota of chemistry, but whatevs.

I was pleasantly surprised at how good the movie was! RDJ played himself in an Iron Man suit and What’s-Her-Face Paltrow almost sorta proved that she has a pulse. The Easter Egg at the end of the movie credits was meh.

After busy daddy’s yoga class, we went for a quik-e lunch. I had a short rib and spinach grilled cheese sandwich, which was yum but the service left much to be desired.

I suppose it’s possible that my expectations for customer service is much higher than normal humans can provide. That, or maybe I’m surrounded by morons. Whichever.

That awkward moment when you realize that your batshizz crazy dog looks like roadkill whenever he’s on the couch having an existential crisis, which is often.

Super-lazy Sunday for the Busy-Lazy boys. What should we do today?