Monthly Archives: April 2013

As the boy would say, I’ve been AFK (a.k.a., Away From Keyboard) for the past few days because of reasons, so I’ve been taking a short hiatus from Tumblring. Hopefully our regularly scheduled program will come back soon? Who knows?

Can I tell you a secret? Actually, maybe not so much a secret, but more of a confession-slash-observation. Here goes: I think I’m more inclined to write shizz on Lazy Dad’s Guide when I’m angry and/or conflicted about something. I suppose it’s easier to channel my rage disappointment feels about stupid things like horrible busy business lady colleagues or irrational peeps in the world, and spin that shizz into comedy gold, than it is to write about all of the rainbows shooting out of my butt. Ain’t nopony got time for that!

However, things are really good in my life. Like, amazeballs good. I have a great new job—working with incredible peeps, terrific friends, and the Best Family in the World. Not to be all braggy and stuff, but seriously guys, I have the Best Partner in busy daddy and the Best Kid in the boy. I know someponies would be all, “But lazy dad, nopony’s life can be as good as you claim yours is, yo!” But I’d be all, Jealous, much?

Because my life is good, there’s really not much to say lately. So I guess I should just keep my face hole shut?

P.S., I love you. Plus, I like what you did with your hair. It’s super-cute!

Meanwhile in Montréal, it’s a lovely night for a leisurely, post-dinner stroll. Here’s a pic of the building that I see from my hotel. In case there was any doubt, I totes heart Canada so hard.

It must be a slow news day in Canada, eh, because today’s top headline on the national newspaper was about the Very Important Issue of whether or not cupcakes are still cool.

Again, I can’t tell if the Very Important Issue surrounding the relative coolness of cupcakes among Canadian trendsetters is real or just ironic, a.k.a., Canadian real.

Damn you, Alanis Morrissette, for confusing an entire country about what the word ironic means!!!

After work, I stumbled across an adorbz maple syrup shop in Old Montréal that sells all manner of the sweet stuff. They sold syrup, obvs, but they also had candies and chocolates and even a wide selection of maple-flavored teas.

I opted for a scoop of maple chunk gelato, which was totes yum!

Somepony in the shop was yammering on and on about how Canada produces the most and the best maple syrup, like, in the entire world, but I’m not sure that’s really something to be bragging about.

Actually, it’s pretty impressive, given that most peeps think real maple syrup tastes like Aunt Jemima’s maple-flavored “syrup.” You go, Canada!

I’ve recently rediscovered my love for duck confit. I know everypony goes on and on about bacon and stuff, but really, duck confit is the real shizzle when it comes to comfy, salty, meaty eats.

For lunch, I has a quik-e bite at a cute French bistro near my office. I had a shepherd’s pie made with duck confit and rustic homemade ketchup. Second Best Meal I’ve Had in Montréal.

Hey! I just wanted to say hello, and also ask a question (or two) out of curiosity. Your new job seems to involve a lot of travel. Has the amount of time you spend with the boy significantly decreased? And how do you cope with that? I’m considering returning to work soonish, and the thought of being away from my babies is kinda terrifying! As well as hugely appealing… Hope you guys are all well. X Mel

Hey Mel! My new job does require a shizzton of travel (at least for the time being) and it has significantly decreased the amount of time I get to spent with the boy and busy daddy. I basically see my family Friday nights through Sunday night, and then I’m on the road again early Monday morning.

Despite the challenges of coordinating a complicated schedule and redistributing household duties, it’s quickly become our new normal, so I guess it’s OK? At least for now? I mean, I don’t think I could do this forever, and it would be much harder if (and when) we have a new baby. In the meantime, we text and Skype a lot more these days.

The upside is that I get so much work done when I’m on the road. Like, seriously, So Much Work Done. And when I’m home, we immediately fall back into our regular rhythms as if I was never gone. The upper-upside is that I have an amazing job, I work with really smart (and nice) people and I have very understanding and humane bosses. The upper-uppity-upside is that I get to travel to lovely places, and do interesting and meaningful work. Plus, the pay is pretty good.

I definitely couldn’t swing this without a partner as hard-working and supportive as busy daddy or a great nanny like the boy’s nanny or the help of the boy’s incredible cousin Sasha who’s staying with us while she interns at busy daddy’s company. It really does take a village to raise a family. If you have the support, I’d say you should go for it, girl!

OK, here’s the thing: all of the eats I’ve had in Toronto have been (mostly) yum and (mostly) inexpensive. But all of the eats I’ve had in Montréal have been (mostly) expensive and either ridiculously delicious or just meh.

Today for lunch I had some meh Chinese eats at a Szechuan joint down the street from my office. I was misdirected because the place was packed with, like, actual Chinese peeps, so I naturally assumed that it would be authentic and stuff. Bad on me because I could have been at the Panda Express at the Hillsdale Mall in San Mateo. Total bill: $26.15 Canadian. Overpriced by more than double its actual value.

For dinner, I went to a French bistro near my hotel. The place was packed with French-Canadian peeps. I sat at the bar and had duck confit with roasted potatoes and an arugula salad dressed with truffle oil. The photo doesn’t do it justice, but seriously guys, this was One of the Best Meals I’ve Ever Had. In My Life. The whole time I was tucking into my meal, I kept thinking, busy daddy and the boy would lurve this dish!!! Total bill: $32.42 Canadian. Worth every penny.

If you haven’t guessed, I’m in Montréal for work this week (or at least most of this week). It’s weird commuting between New York and Canada, but it’s even weirder traveling between Toronto and Montréal.

While Toronto is a city that I feel like I can totally understand, Montréal is still mysterious to me. The city is gorgeous, like, one of the prettiest cities I’ve ever been to, but it feels foreign and slightly unnerving. I dunno if it’s because of the language or cultural differences, but Montréal feels very European, while Toronto feels very much like San Francisco or Chicago or Seattle.

I thought that Toronto was a clean city, but Montréal is crazy clean. It looks like a movie set. Even the old stuff looks pristine. Whereas the graffiti in Toronto has a gritty, in-your-face mien, the graffiti in Montréal (at least what I’ve seen) is minimalist to the point of being indistinguishable from proper signage. Maybe I’m just hanging out in an especially nice part of town?

As I was walking back to the office from lunch, I spied a teeny-tiny sticker (maybe two-inches square) artfully placed on a curb. If I wasn’t looking down, I would have probably missed it. All it said was “LOVE ME.” It reminded me of this song.

At work today, for shizz and giggz, all of my busy business lady colleagues were taking an online test (concocted by some Harvard brainiacs) that guesstimates your age based on the way that you respond to a series of interactive tests where you click on dots on the screen. Apparently as we age, our reflex timing diminishes, but the test also factors in things like the shape of your mouse (or trackpad) movements and the way you perceive items on the screen.

I say it’s a bunch of poppycock because the test guessed that I was 10 years old!!! I might act like a 10 year old and stuff, but sheesh!!! How old did the test guess that you are?