Monthly Archives: January 2013

I woke up feeling 42 percent better, so hopefully I won’t be a hot mess on the plane. I’m headed down to Houston for Dad 2.0 Summit, which was a blast last year. I wish all y’all could come with because it would totes be 20 percent cooler with more Tumblrer peeps. Because, you know, real bloggers are super-serious and stuff. At least I will finally get my vengeance on The Daddy Complex at our Gangnam Style Dance Off to the Death. And I’ll get to eat cupcakes with Electra Daddy. Plus, a few other surprise guest appearances!

Since the boy got his own Minecraft server from busy daddy for Christmas, he’s been sort of hot and cold on the idea of hosting his own Minecraft world. It’s hard for the boy because even though he’s just six-years-old, he’s convinced that he should be able to do whatever he wants with his server and invite any random pony to join.

Despite my generally lackadaisical attitude about such things, busy daddy (thankfully and rightly) has put some rules and restrictions on access, including carefully moderating who can join in. This has been frustrating for the boy because more than anything, he wants to share and play Minecraft with other peeps, especially other kids.

So it was a godsend when martiniqueeny mentioned that her daughter was looking for a safe Minecraft server to play on. The boy has been waiting for the past few days for Lili to log in, and when she did tonight, he was overjoyed. After dinner and homework, I let the boy play Minecraft with Lili for a bit before bedtime.

I think they both had a good time!

You know how sometimes the last thing you want to do when you get home from work, after a long day of being a super-glamorous busy business lady, is to put on your vintage apron and cook something for dinner? No? It’s just me? Alrighty then.

I mean, if food could be delivered through a medium like a nicotine patch, I would totes use something like that. Who needs to chew? Chewing is for the birds. Hey! Don’t steal my brilliant, trademarked idea for a food-delivery-slash-nicotine-patch, yo!

It’s nights like these when I tell my family that we’re having Deviled Eggs for dinner. After everypony has gotten over their shock and disgust, they will begrudgingly eat what’s put in front of them. I’m too lazy to make real Deviled Eggs, so here’s a super-easy way to make “Deviled Eggs.”

  • Hard boil some eggs. This sounds easier than it actually is. Here’s my foolproof method: place some eggs in a pot. Add cold water until it just barely covers the top of the eggs. Bring that shizz to a boil, and then immediately cover and take the pot off the heat. Let that shizz rest for 16 minutes. Perfect hard-boiled eggs.
  • Peel the eggs and slice them in halves.
  • Squirt some mayo on the egg slices. I recommend Japanese mayo, which is yum.
  • Sprinkle with coarse ground pepper. 
  • Voilà! Your family will hate lurve it! If they don’t, too bad.

Sports fans the world over have been gearing up all week long for the Most Important Sporting Event of the Year. If you’re anything like me, you’ve already picked your favorite. I’m not talking about that other parade of drag queens. I’m talking, of course, about the Best Reality Show Currently Running on American Television, obvs. Besides, everypony knows that the Busy-Lazy boys are diehard 49ers fans, so whatevs. Don’t hate.

Since watching TV requires “sitting” and “watching” a “TV” and “stuff,” which I clearly have neither the patience nor the time for, I watched the season five premiere episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race on my iPad, like any civilized pony would.

Not to be all Judge-y McJudgerson or anything, but this season’s gaggle of Drag Racers are all kind of fugly, amirite? Busy daddy said I was being too harsh and that this season is all about Serving Executive Fishy Realness, but still, kinda fugly, amirite? I say this as a pony who lurves drag queens and stuff, but just objectively speaking, kinda of fugly, amirite?

Still, I have my money on Vivienne Pinay because she is a) gorgeous and b) Asian and stuff. I mean, she’s no Jiggly Caliente or Jujubee, but then again, nopony is, amirite?

Because I’m boring and/or afraid of change, today I had virtually the same thing that I had for lunch yesterday, only at a different joint and with a different busy business lady friend. I mentioned to my busy business lady lunchmate that I was going to take a pic of my lunch so that I could blog about it later, which inevitably opened up the conversation to the fact that I have a blog.

My busy business lady friend asked, “What’s your blog about?” And I was all, Um, I guess my blog is about food and being a dad and mustaches and stuff. And my busy business lady friend was all, “Oh … well … that sounds … interesting.”

It’s funny because I had been pretty disciplined about keeping my life as a Glamorous Busy Business Lady and my life as an Awesome Fake-Mustachioed Dad Blogger separate, but lately the line seems to be blurring more and more because, you know, #yolo. I’m quickly discovering that coming out as a blogger is almost as harrowing as coming out as gay.

When I tell people that I write a daily blog, they’re usually like, “Well, maybe it’s just a phase?” Or they’re all, “Have you tried actually writing something real, like a book or something?” And I’m all, Why can’t everypony just accept me the way that the goddess made me! Sheesh! And then I blog about my feels and stuff.

Meanwhile, there’s a distinct possibility that my busy business lady lunchmate might visit my blog and think to himself, “Hey! I’m not a busy business lady! I’m a busy businessman!” By way of explanation, on Lazy Dad’s Guide, busy business lady is a gender neutral term, kind of like dude or bro or hot mess. This might help explain things further.

Fun fact: my busy business lady lunchmate today is the uncle-in-law of my best pal editor mommy. Small world, amirite?

Forgot to mention: on the train ride into the city this morning, I sat in one of those four-seater deals, which is basically two sets of two seats facing each other. Because it was the morning rush, the train was packed, and I had the distinct pleasure of being seated next to a busy business lady who was Wearing Too Much Perfume and who was Talking Non-Stop on her mobile phone during the entire commute. It was simply a joy.

Across from us, there was an obvs hungover busy business lady who took up an entire row of seats to himself. At one point, the busy business lady across from me laid his head down on his bag and took a nap. Have you been on a commuter train lately? It’s not exactly the most comfortable place to take a nap. Still, this busy business lady quickly fell into a deep slumber, a silver string of drool hanging from his lips. 

I wonder what he was dreaming about?

Believe it or not, I finally completed all of the necessary paperwork for our updated adoption home study. Werk. I’m gonna drop that shizz in the mail this afternoon, and then after it’s been reviewed by our adoption agency, we’ll have to schedule a new home visit.

Here’s a confession: is it bad that I’m starting to have second thoughts about adopting another kid? I mean, it would be great for the boy to have a brother or sister and we’d love to have second child, really we would, but sometimes the hassle and heartache of going through the adoption process just doesn’t seem worth it. Obvs, it’s worth it, but still…

On my walk to the train station this morning, I spied a lonely binkie stranded on the sidewalk near the train station. When the boy was a baby, he was addicted to his binkie, and I worried that he was going to be a 27-year-old man who still used a binkie. But then one day when he was two (or maybe three, I can’t remember), he put the binkie in his mouth, looked at it, put it back in his mouth, then took it out, and handed it over to me. And then that was that, he was done with the binkie.

As much as I love the age that the boy is now, I do miss the times when he was a baby. Really, I guess I am looking forward to having another baby in the house again.

I had a nice leisurely lunch with one of my busy business lady friends at a swank Midtown brasserie today. Despite my generally anti-social disposition, I’ve decided that it’s fun to go out for lunch sometimes, especially when it’s with a busy business lady who is actually my friend and stuff. We both had rotisserie chicken and fries, which was yum.

My busy business lady friend and I talked about the usual busy business lady shizz, and I’m quickly discovering that most busy business ladies’ lives are at least 63 percent more glamorous than my life. Whatevs.