Monthly Archives: April 2012

Hi Lazy Dad! Thought I’d join all of your gray faced friends by asking you a question. So tell me, how do you manage to keep up with, I imagine, a very active dashboard and tumblr social life? How do you do it all – work, son, pets, chores, tumblr! I’m sure it isn’t easy to juggle posting and replying to all of your adoring fans. Please do share your secret with the rest of us commoners. :)

Hi vpowinsf! First, it looked like you had a great time in Aruba! So, jelly! Second, I have no idea why people read Lazy Dad’s stupid blog. Third, I’ll let you in on a dirty little secret about “Lazy Dad”: the dude is a total whack job. In fact, he doesn’t even write half of the things that are posted on this stupid blog! I do! He calls it “outsourcing” but I call it ridiculous!

I thought I was going to get a fancy-schmancy writing internship with “Lazy Dad” but instead it has turned into indentured servitude at this lame excuse for a “blog.” 

Did you know that “Lazy Dad” pays me in gummie bears and red bowties??? I’m a diabetic! I can’t eat that many gummie bears! And I’m only a fifteen-year-old girl!!! What’s a fifteen-year-old girl supposed to do with a lifetime supply of red bowties!?!

If people only knew what a mess this situation is!!! Do me a favor? Call my mom and tell her that my fancy Spring break “internship” isn’t working out as planned. I would call her myself but she will only tell me that I need to listen to my uncle because he’s fancy and stuff. I mean, it’s fun to hang out with my cousin and my other uncle, but “Lazy Dad” is so lazy and weird. I just need a break from all of this craziness and get away from this stupid blog!

Wait, I think I hear “Lazy Dad” coming back from his afternoon gelato run. Seriously, grownups shouldn’t be eating so much gelato!!!

“Lazy Dad” just asked me why I wasn’t wearing my fake mustache while I was blogging!!! I know it’s the first and second rule of interning for “Lazy Dad”!!!

Send help!!!

On my commute into the city this morning, I sat across from a seriously busy, busy business lady. Let’s call her Penelope. Penny, as her friends like to call her, was furiously tap-tapping on her iPhone through the entire duration of our train ride. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone tap on their iPhone screens with as much force as Penny. It looked like she was really giving the business to the person on the other end of the conversation, all right! I suspect Penny was writing in all caps.

I didn’t want to be nosey or anything (I mean, sheesh, I already surreptitiously snapped her pic), but I was totally curious what super-important conversation Penny was having first thing in the morning, and with whom. As we approached Penn Station, Penny let down her guard and I was able to spy the text conversation on her iPhone screen:

Penny: GIRL, WHERE U AT?
LaTanya: I said I was going thru Hoboken today. Where u at?
Penny: TRAIN TO PENN STATION B SLOW AND SHIZZ.
LaTanya: That’s why all the ladies be taking the train thru Hoboken, werd.
Penny: WHERE MY RED BOWTIES AT? TO GO AROUND MY NECK?
LaTanya: Girl, I told you I wasn’t making no red bowties no more!!!
Penny: IMMA EXPECTING MY RED BOWTIES! U PROMISED WEEKS AGO!
LaTanya: :-/
Penny: GIRL, Y U PLAYIN’!!!
LaTanya: ;-p
Penny: GIRL, IMMA CALL U WHEN I GET TO THE OFFICE!!!

True story.

It’s lovely in the Northeast today: bright, cloudless skies with just a slight nip in the air. Busy daddy and the boy slept in this morning, so we had a late-ish lunch at the Vietnamese diner. Funny, the food is usually pretty good there, but busy daddy and I both thought it was just awight today.

Afterward, we picked up some groceries for the week, and then I’ve been doing laundry and cleaning the house while busy daddy and the boy watched TV all afternoon. Yes, the Busy-Lazy boys lead exceptionally glamorous lives, werd.

Hello, Lazy Dad! I was wondering if you could tell me about your nanny. Since the boy is in school now, what are her duties, and how often is she out and about in your house? Do you plan on keeping her forever or just for now?

Hi Gray Face! I don’t know really know how it happened, but we’re so lucky that we found the boy’s nanny. The thing about adoption is you don’t really know when you’re going to get “the call,” so we weren’t prepared for childcare when we got the call to pick up the boy. In fact, we didn’t have anything lined up and I only planned to take about six weeks off from work. So as soon as we got back to the States, I started the nanny search.

I interviewed about a dozen candidates over the phone, then narrowed it down to about four candidates for face-to-face interviews. One nanny flaked and didn’t show up, no call, no e-mail, nothing. One nanny was clearly a basketcase, so she was ruled out. That left us with two promising candidates: a very traditional English nanny in the mold of Mrs. Doubtfire and the nanny we ultimately chose. The boy loved Mrs. Doubtfire, but the lazy pups hated her. The first thing Mrs. Doubtfire said to me was, “You son has too many toys.”

At her interview, our nanny arrived on time, dressed in a Chanel suit and carrying a Louis Vuitton bag. Her references were glowing. Plus, the lazy pups loved her. We chose her over Mrs. Doubtfire because Mrs. Doubtfire refused to give up her references unless we offered her the job first.

When the nanny first started, she arrived at 7:00 AM and worked until 7:00 PM. As the boy got older, we scaled back her time. Nowadays, she picks up the boy in the morning and brings him to school, then during the day she does some light housekeeping and cares for the lazy pups. After school, the nanny takes the boy to gymnastics classes or hosts playdates.

Busy daddy and I didn’t expect or want our nanny to be a housekeeper and/or a cook because we wanted her to focus on caring for the boy, but the nanny has always cooked for the boy and taken care of things like his laundry. And she’s amazing with the lazy pups, who I think like her better than they like me at this point. Even though the nanny’s hours aren’t full-time right now, we know that she’ll have her hands full once Busy-Lazy Kid No. 2 arrives, so we’ve retained her on a full-time basis.

The boy’s nanny is really more than just a babysitter, she has become a part of our family. When she started, she told us that we’re the last family she plans to nanny for, so our plan is to keep her until the boy (and Kid No. 2) goes to boarding school or to college, whichever comes first.

Here’s what I had for dessert: red velvet chocolate ganache cake ball, Mexican Wedding cookie, chocolate cannoli, pecan square, and chocolate dipped cigar cookie with red velvet crumbs.

It’s totally normal for a grown man to have five desserts, amirite? Bueller?

We met up with designing daddy and Eddie K at the gym after Fake Chris’s famous yoga class. Busy daddy and I took Eddie K with us to run some errands before a playdate for the boys. Naturally, our first stop was the bakery. Eddie K got a Tweety Bird cookie and the boy got a Smurf cookie. 

For myself, I got a giant box of Mexican wedding cookies (my favorite!), cannoli, chocolate ganache cake balls, pecan squares, and caramel cookies. You know, for later. For dessert. Hey! I worked out today!