I’ve given up taking photos of the boy’s school lunch because photographing a lunch in a Thermos is lame. Stupid lunchroom monitor.

Today I went to get Cuban food for lunch with my work colleague. Here’s the thing: my colleague in global HQ is also a Chinky, but only Chinky-ish (by his own admission, seriously). He’s what us actual Chinkies call a “banana” because he’s yellow on the outside but white on the inside. While we were waiting for our takeaway, a white dude* from our office said to him, “Hey lazy dad, what’s up?” And my colleague said, “I’m the other one, lazy dad is over there.” The white dude was mortified. I felt sort of sorry for the white dude; he seriously didn’t mean any disrespect.

I totally get that all us Chinkies look alike, even if we are nowhere near the same weight or height. My colleague and I aren’t even the same flavor of Chinky. But no matter. We are wearing sort of the same outfit today (because, you know, this morning’s Official Chinky Corporate Drone newsletter told us to wear jeans, a checked shirt, and black sports coat to work), so I guess the mistaken identity was inevitable. 

It’s as we were asking for it! Why did I have to pull my eyelids up the corners of my eyes while I was ordering lunch? Darnit!

* OK, so the white dude is super nice. He’s visiting from another office, and although I’ve spoken with him on the phone, we’ve never met face-to-face. I think he’s probably guessing at what I look like based on my picture on our company website, which admittedly looks nothing like me and sort of looks more like my Chinky-ish colleague than me. White dude e-mailed an apology to my colleague. As a joke, I was going to go over to white dude’s desk and say it wasn’t a problem, and then introduce him to my Chinky-ish colleague as me.

Have I mentioned that Chinkies are super sneaky? Well, we are!

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