Over the weekend, while we were driving around, whenever I asked busy daddy a question, he’d say, “Let’s ask Siri.” Then I’d say, Siri is a useless retard who can’t answer even the most basic question. Plus, she’s a racist. Then busy daddy would say, “You need to give her a chance.” To which I’d say, Trying to use Siri makes me want to punch anyone named Siri in the face. Plus, she’s programmed to answer questions that people don’t really ask, like where should I have dinner. If you don’t know where you’re going to have dinner, it’s unlikely that a phone will be able to tell you. And busy daddy would ask, “Why are you in such a bad mood?” And I’d say, Because I hate Siri with every fiber of my being and wish she would drop dead. And busy daddy would say, “Um, it’s just a phone.” Then I’d say, Exactly.

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