You know how sometimes you wake up and you’re just not in the mood for, you know, work? I have a bad case of the Mondays this Wednesday. Here’s what’s on my mind:

  1. People in general don’t seem to read very much these days, yet these are the same people who insist on communicating via e-mail or text (or sometimes via phone call). Here’s the trick: don’t e-mail or text or call me when my office is no more than fifteen steps away from your desk. I promise not to yell at you, unless, of course, you deserve to be yelled at.
  2. Read your freakin’ e-mail. I’m tired of getting into a long threaded e-mail conversation explaining the contents of an e-mail I just sent. If you don’t want to ask me something to my face, then read the stinkin’ e-mail. All of your questions will be answered, I promise.
  3. I know I should be really excited about social media and stuff, but I have information overload. Facebook “friends” aren’t a useful proxy for actual friendships. Our online lives are not the same as our real lives. Read Simulacra and Simulation, much? Read it.

On the news this morning, there was a segment about a new Android app that helps moms determine whether or not their sons are gay. Apparently, the app panders to the worst stereotypes about gayness, asking questions like “Does your son like musicals or football?” The developer calls it “a non-scientific, humorous way to determine your son’s sexual orientation.” I say, STFU, because the only reason why any mom would give a shit whether or not her son is gay is to change him.

For the boy’s Wednesday bento box lunch, I made organic ham and cream cheese rolls, fried rice, and grilled Berkshire pork sausage. It’s pretty much a ham-on-ham explosion. I figured out too late that it’s not such a great idea to grill sausage first thing in the morning when you’re trying to be discreet. Our house now smells like a smokehouse, albeit a delicious smokehouse. But still.

What’s the deal with releasing the audio recordings of a drugged-out Michael Jackson? Who cares? Did I mention I’m in an awful mood this morning?

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